Domestic violence provention programme

[Janet Stead]

My own experience of an abuser meant that if one disagreed in anyway, he would threaten, break objects, shout, imprison, humiliate, and use violence. Violence was use to subdue, regain control and bring back his domestic bliss. Fear was used to impose those controls and as long as one didn't express an opinion, cooked, cleaned and looked after him, all was well. Displaying any view or making a break for freedom, however small was deemed as provocation and dealt with accordingly.

Getting an abuser to recognise his bliss = control = fear = violence is a difficult one, especially as this view is institutionally accepted – the control of women and continued services from women.

Adam Edward Jukes who runs a private practice in London working with male abusers looks at the abuse in an interesting way:

‘it can only be pathological if we recognise some universal elements of masculinity as a failure in development.’

‘All men do it, so they think it is normal behaviour and reinforces the inequality of women. This is reinforced by the media making men’s needs, desires etc more important than women. Hence they develop a competitive/survival mindset presenting a personal/social and political problem, without the integration of feminist analyses of gender relations and sexual politics. Read his book Why Men Batter

Lucy Day, Author of Just Another Day