FAMILY....Where did it go???

[DorothyL]

Today we live in a world of such different morals and priorities compared to yesterday.
I know that that sounds like something all of our parents and grandparents have said to us, but in actual fact the changes that have occurred in the last 50 years have been the most drastic and self-destructing!

Families of yesterday and today are so completely opposite that they tend to be foreign to each other.

Does it ever make you wonder why?
When I take a few minutes to just breathe, I cannot help but wonder how we, the people, have reached this point of existence. The point where the norm is now blended families, children with cell phones, sex in the middle schools, worse yet, a common conversation between people in a social environment or a workplace is now, nine time out of ten about their 'EX'.

Is it economics or the strive for women's equality?
Is it due to the fact that at the time of World War 2, women were placed in the work force because of the shortage of men?

I feel that by placing women in the workforce, presented opportunities for women and men to become more sociable with each other, which in turn created the question of whether their choice in mates was fulfilling or satisfying them. The beginning of a relationship threat!
Certain comparisons and doubts would begin when things at home were maybe not going as well as expected. Eventually that special person at home is not so special anymore. All of a sudden people at work seem so much more understanding and have more to offer. They seem to have it so much better! All of a sudden a commitment becomes just a bunch of letters and our self serving self gains control at all costs.

Then we have the crossroad when women began to demand certain equal rights.
It was not enough to just help out the economy and work in factories, now women wanted to have a choice of where they wanted to work. They began to demand choices of workplace. They demanded to be heard!

With women in the work force becoming a norm, where does that put the children of the then 'Family'?
It puts them in front of the television, being taught by a babysitter, raised in a daycare with other, 'wanted but have no time for' children. Last but not least the children become somewhat of a burden on the parents conscience. At that point the material world begins. The material substitutes begin to replace the love and affection that only time and presence can strengthen a child's confidence and self-esteem. Again the 'Family' changes!
The children of the new 'Family', become more independent and indifferent of what we may have know as 'Family'.
The husband and bread winner of the then 'Family' is now feeling less needed, less important and very much less than a man. This is where he begins to doubt himself and see his partner as a threat, not necessarily an equal. Another relationship threat!

We move forward to technology. Which is being proven to be a faster means to an end. People feel the need to shine and impress others outside of their families these days. The priorities have swung totally to the other side of life's pendulum.

The then 'Family' is no longer necessary nor does it fit the lifestyle of today. People care less about working on whats real and necessary to feed and strengthen a real 'Family', than they do about the biggest television screen, the newest car, pleasing everyone else but their 'Family'. The material world once again takes over the then 'Family'.

Some will ask, "who cares why we are at this point in life and why worry about what is already in the past?
It is not a matter of caring or worrying as it is a matter of understanding and just maybe redirecting some of our morals and ideas in our 'Family' unit.
After all is it not fact that our children are our future?

What exactly are you doing about setting precedent in your home besides talking or complaining about how awful things are becoming in our world?

We can learn from the 'Family' that holds tight and stays the course to keep their values positive and healthy.
Just in my slight comparison of 'Family', then and now, you can see where things have become unbalanced, self-centered, and full of negativity.
We can move forward with positive thoughts that will direct us to a more positive life if we CHOOSE to!

My thoughts do not apply to all people, but they do cover a large percentage of people in todays world.
I am not against equal rights.
I am however against equal rights for just women or just men. I am against unequal rights and extreme selfishness which is altogether different.
When men and women can understand that we are all people, I do believe then and only then will we be able to get along equally!

Live & Let Live!
~D~
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[DorothyL]

So very true....life is a learned behavior at best. People tend to become what they are expected to be or what they have learned to be.
Ask a person this question,"who are you?".
Chances are they will immediately identify themselves with a title, eg; mother, father, aunt, uncle.... OR they will identify themselves with a company they have created or a career
They have no idea who they really are or what their sole purpose in life is today. They miss out on, smelling the roses, for lack of a better example.
Individuality is a word from another language to them. This is why there are so many followers and why our world is quickly losing its strong hold of what is right and wrong. What is important to people as opposed to a bank account.
It is truly frustrating and I can only hope that more people would take control and act upon their gripes instead of just sit around complaining about it.
We can be strength in numbers reaching toward a positive goal just as we can destroy mankind reaching for negative goals.
Men seriously do find intelligent women intimidating....trust me on that one. I believe it is of no fault to them...it is an archaic need to be superior and protective of his mate. Although we must move forward, allow change and accept certain things in order to continue a steady healthy balance between genders!
~D~

[Richard Payne]

Dorothy well thought out and presented. All your points are valid. You're right, we need to be "people" not me and "them". Yes there is a breakdown between the sexes which does not help either, nor the children produced by the relationship. I think even today there is a need for women to catch up in the area of equal rights. It's still unbalanced. And until addressed, there is going to be stress between the sexes. But I think it would be good that both sides look at each other as individuals rather than groups. There is always good and bad apples in the barril. As a male, I can't understand why a man would feel threatened by a women. He has everything to gain and nothing to loose. An intelligent partner that can talk about interesting topics, Nothing boring there. Besides, for our more basic instincts, it makes her damn sexy. I think a man who has a problem with that type of women, has a lot of issues about himself. So he should get over it, or get help. Unfortunately you're right about the Kids. they do pay a big price and because they are our future, we pay a price too. "What comes around, goes around".

Richard