Battered Moms and Battered Children

[Ellen Taliaferro, MD aka "DrT"]

Star recently joined this network and since has generated many posts to raise awareness regarding the plight of battered women who now have or might lose custody of their children to their perpetrator.

Here are two websites she recommends that we visit:

http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/

www.angelfury.org

Here are a few other links concerning this issue:

http://batteredmomslosecustody.wordpress.com/2009/01/15/report-from...

http://www.smalljustice.com/

http://www.courageouskids.net/

Today, I had a chance to discuss this issue with one of the lawyers who helped start the Family Justice Center movement in the United States. What I learned was that this is a growing and major problem: the perpetrators are now organized and driving the system, resulting in many women being in Star's position. The bottom line of the discussion was that the lawyers working to prevent this problem are well aware of it and trying their too-busy best to address it.

My takeaway from our conversation, viewed in Biblical story, is that the System is the Giant and the Battered Moms and the lawyers supporting them are the folks with the slingshots.

Please post any information you come across regarding this problem in this discussion forum.

DrT

[Star]

Great news1
I feel better now.
I have met so many people that don't understand whats happening in the Family courts.
I know many woman that have lost custody to the abuser.
I learned this from going to the National Battered Womans Confrence in Albany,N Y.
http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/

Last year.
(Also this one jan/2009 on scholarship Thank goodness)
Now working w/national advocates trying to get help.
i originally thought it was only me going through this!
I have joint legal custody w/ a Pyshopath.I have since learned the symptoms of one.
Unfortunately,this type of abuser is the most danagerous! he has vowed to hunt us down.If he was ever caught!
They can manipulate the Court,Pyschologists and all!
I have wittnessed this first hand.
It has been a long struggle.

Please note:
after you escape:
when your supposed to be healing and taking care of your childen.
your still having to fight this is a war here.
the woman our the one's fighting and the few men on board.
like i said most people aren't aware of whats going on.Family courts dirty little secrets!
Big buisness!
Family courts are using this junk science PAS as a tool.
Parent Alienation Syndrome.
yet the media isn't addressing this?? Shame on them!!
They don't want to let the cat out of the bag!
Even though children our being abused. Being hurt daily??
Living w/ the abuser?
The protective mother is the one seeking visitation?
because she went for help?
They take he kids away from her?
Claiming she made this up!
Even w/ proof of abuse?
This is crazy!
This needs to stop!
The judges needs to be held accountable!
incluing mine.
Parent A S
this is what my judge handeling our custody case did to me.
www.stopfamilyviolence.org.
we had a diffrent judge who sentenced him.
Please Note"He said our abuser wasn't evil/
even though he literally tortured us
Patting him on the back?
ahref="http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3693/is_200401/ai_n9402416">http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3693/is_200401/ai_n9402416
PAS
Which has already been de-bunked by Many professionals.
Now, wih distance between me and the states where the crimes occured.
We have to go back and face a situation that is in favor of the abuser?
Why Laws!
they give abusers rights??
No matter that its going to re-traumatize my chidlren!
PTSD and child abuse.
How it effects children?
Let alone what my kids go through today.
On a day top day basis.Your welcome to come and visit...
my little one is behind emotionally by 3 to 4 years.Because she wans't allowed to develop emotionally!
(Held captive,controled hourly)all charges mishandeled.
I walk in the room and my kids jump?
What planet our we on.
They wouldn't give up jurisdiction because one parent still resides there?(In prison for child abuse)?
This is insanity.
Even though he tortured us? My older child can testify.They our still using PAS as a tool today.
Thanks for lsitening?
Star
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/yourmentalhealth/2008/06/24/Lundy-Banc...

[Ellen Taliaferro, MD aka "DrT"]

Thanks for these very informative links, Star.

Richard, for your project, you will find this link very helpful: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/yourmentalhealth/2008/06/24/Lundy-Banc...

Lundy Bancroft is quite well known and respected in the field of domestic violence prevention and intervention.

[Richard Payne]

Star and Ellen,

Thanks for the information. Will review asap.

Richard

[Dr. Jeanne King]

As per your request, I'd like to share some resources on this topic.

Here's an eBook we recently published on legal domestic abuse. It addresses re-victimization through legal domestic abuse and gives insights on how to best navigate the system in route to safety. We invite you to take a look at this volume, released last month. Legal Domestic Abuse

Another resource that may interest you is: Family Violence and Legal Domestic Abuse

For videos on the subject, please see: Child Custody and Domestic Violence

And for insights regarding legal psychiatric ploys, please see Legal Psychiatric Ploys

If you are struggling with PAR (parental alienation syndrome), see
3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation

For those encountering this, hang in there one day at a time and you will prevail.

All the best, Dr. King

[Star]

Thanks,
i appreciate the thought.
I need help in court though and am w/ out finacial ways of paying.I need expert wittnesse's
sincerely,
Star

[Ellen Taliaferro, MD aka "DrT"]

Star: I asked a lawyer friend about this and she suggested starting with the domestic violence council in your state. They can often hook up survivors and lawyers.

Hope this helps.

[DorothyL]

Hello...I have not replied to many posts under this section...although I have been following them.
AS far as DV goes...if we stop trying to break down this barrier then we will never ever rid our world of even a bit of this out of control violence.
True we will not be able to delete it off the planet earth...true we will not change the lives of so many past victims...true we will not be able to remove all of the unjust that goes on in our justice system.
BUT......
If people like Richard Payne & Dr. T do not take a stand and try to bring forth these issues...then we may as well all lay down and die.
I realize as a victim...there is so much pain, doubt, hopelessness and pure disdain when anyone raises the issue of abolishing Domestic Violence. It sounds like a weight too heavy for any human being.
As a victim you have already spent so much time, money, energy, and even years fighting your issue of Domestic Violence only to find yourself standing in the exact same spot where you began only more deceived, tired, scarred, & definitely more broke financially...how can you possibly smile or cheer someone on that is stating they can do something where you could not? Totally understandable.
For anyone to succeed in changing certain errors in life...we must step back and see where others failed before. This is where it is vital for victims to come forward and relay all of their experiences so that they can be studied and abused as a hindsight for future action.
The more information gathered the more possibilities there are to actually gain legal rights and finally a separate section in the judicial system that the government will fund to allow victims more experienced legal support.

I listened to several audios in regards to DV victims versus courts decisions. So many of the reasons given for all of the wrong choices.. lets say.. on the courts decisions were all technicalities or misrepresentation or lack of experience on the defendants lawyers part.

It is obvious that money once again greases the judicial wheel. A sad story but a true one. It is also obvious that ones geographical area is another reason for so many wrongful decisions.

It is almost as clear as glass who the abuser is to most people...but once the court system is involved...they practice law not morality. A victims personal life is not how the courts see the case. They see how things are worded or not according to the rule book. A case is to them is just that. A judge is not GOD...he/she is an educated person who makes decisions based on the evidence and all the rules they studied in their schooling.
Also so many of the case workers do not take their job with the seriousness that they should or their hands are tied by some regulations.
The accountability of these judges and law makers seriously need to be regulated and enforced. The problem is somewhere along the road, a JUDGE is GOD...which in turn frees him/her of any question of their decisions.
Appointing Juries to support final decisions is also another good suggestion in trying to gain a certain amount of control over Domestic Violence and a more fair outcome of trials.
These are my thoughts!

My soul interest & support ability in Domestic Violence is not trying to change the laws..it is in strengthening and supporting the victims emotional state of mind.

Bottom line...we must keep pushing forward towards positive change. Without a forward action...things will never change. We owe it to our children and their children ect!

~D~